Earlier this week one of my children did not want to go to school. She explained that she knew that they were going to have a substitute and she was really nervous about it. We talked a little, and I tried to be reassuring, but when the morning came she was very anxious and started crying and begging me to let her stay home.
I sat down and looked into her distressed eyes. "I know you are nervous. But you know what? The substitute might be nervous too. He or she has never met your class before. And you have 30 kids in your class, that's a lot of new people. Even for a grown up."
She looked at me with slight disbelief. I'm not sure that it had occurred to her that a grown up might get nervous. "What do you think we could do to help the substitute?" We talked for a while about some options and then we sat down and worked on a note.
This is what it said,
Dear Substitute Teacher,
I was really nervous to go to school today, because I've never met you before. But then my mama said that you might be nervous too. So I had an idea. If you are feeling scared, just look at me and I will smile and give you a thumbs up.
I think we will both have a good day.
Luv, An Anxious-no-more Friend
(It actually read her real name)
With a new sense of purpose, she folded up the note into a small square, and she held it as we drove to school. She held it as she skipped into her class. (something that she has NEVER done before.) Then she cautiously handed it over to the nice young man who introduced himself as her substitute.
He read the note and smiled. He thanked her for the note, and then he admitted to both of us in a way that appeared quite earnest, "Actually I am REALLY NERVOUS!!!"
Sometimes being brave is simply being honest about where you are, and having the courage to reach out to someone else in spite of your own feelings of anxiety. I was so thankful for this outcome, and the beauty of two very different people from different walks of life aligning, out from under fear, because they knew they weren't alone.
