Why people run

Last week while we were jogging, my friend and I witnessed a vehicle hit and run.  We were running along the sidewalk and suddenly a small SUV plowed into the car that was parked right next to us as we ran by.  The SUV didn't even try to stop.  They just kept driving even though it meant that they acted as a bulldozer pushing the small Jetta forward until it was pushed out of the way. Neither of us were hurt at all, but I think we were both a little shaken.  Later when I was talking to my husband about what happened we started talking about the courage that it takes to do what is right, and why people run.

At dinner that night I talked about what had happened.  We talked with the kids about how everybody makes mistakes.  Everyone.  But when we do something that causes damage or hurts someone, we should check to see what we need to do to make things right.  We tried to relate it to things that might happen now in their everyday lives...  Accidentally stepping on a toe, or bumping into someone.  We can stop and say, "Are you okay?"  We can ask if there is anything we should do.

We talked with the kids about the accident that I saw.  We pondered about why someone might have kept on driving.  Maybe they were afraid of getting into trouble.  Maybe they were afraid that someone would be angry with them.  Then I said, "You know, when you get older and you are driving a car... you might accidentally crash into someone.  You might be afraid of getting into trouble.  You might be afraid of the consequences, but it is really important to take responsibility for the mistakes we make.  Mama and Papa want to help you.  We won't always shield you from the consequences, but we will be with you to help you figure out what to do."

It was a good talk.  It was a good reminder to me of all the ways I want to establish good alignment with my kids while they are young.  We are with you.  Life is full of lots of big lessons to learn.  Lets do this together.  It doesn't have to be scary.  You don't have to run.

This morning I stopped by Goodwill.  I had my youngest child with me.  I usually have to remind him several times to use his eyes to look at things.  He was examining a ceramic soap dish that looked like a skateboard. He tested it to see if it would roll down the aisle.  It did not.  The attempt to do so, had unfortunate results for the soap dish.  He picked up the two pieces and looked at me with his bottom lip puckered out.

"Uh-oh," I said.  "That's why we try to just use our eyes.  Let's take the pieces and we can go and apologize.  Can you say, "I'm sorry that I broke the soap dish?"  He shook his head.  "You say that Mama.  I will stand BEHIND you."  He looked terrified.  I could tell that this was too much for him.

"Okay," I agreed. "Let's do this together."  We walked together to the front of the store.  We put the things we were going to purchase on the counter and then I took out the broken pieces.  I looked at my kiddo and I presented the cashier with the 2 piece soap dish.  "We had a little accident," I explained.  "We accidentally broke this soap dish.  We wanted to say that we are sorry."  She was very gracious and nodded.  "Oh that happens all the time.  Sometimes I break things too.  Let's just throw it away."  She was very kind.

I realize that the consequences of breaking a goodwill soap dish will be different than the consequences of crashing into the back of a parked vehicle.  But let's start with the small things.

I'm realizing as I walk through this journey of parenting that there has to be a balance of allowing my kids to experience the natural consequences of their actions and modeling grace to them.

The truth is, we all make mistakes and there are times that the consequences of our own mistakes are too much for all of us.  But "God in his gracious kindness declares us not guilty.  He has done this through Christ Jesus, who has freed us by taking away our sins." (Romans 3:24 NLT)

I am reminded of one of my favorite old Rich Mullins songs.

If I stand let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through, and if  I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to you, and if I sing let me sing for the joy that has born in me these songs  and if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home.   ("If I Stand" by Rich Mullins)

Lets add to this and say, If we run let us run to the foot of the cross.  There is grace and there is mercy enough for all of our mistakes and all of our short comings.